Donald Trump, managed to explain the oft misunderstood Magic: The Gathering mechanic "banding" during a recent town hall event.
Donald Trump, managed to explain the oft misunderstood Magic: The Gathering mechanic "banding" during a recent town hall event.
The local Commander enthusiast currently holds his Magic collection in a duct-tapped Khans of Tarkir fat pack dripping with an unknown fluid.
"At this point I'm getting frustrated, since that's two lands in a row and I needed literally any other card to start reading his fortune."
The company assigned the task of psychological torture to the Modern Horizons team due to their expertise in the field.
When approached for comment, Garfield (the person, not the cat) described how the offer initially bemused him, as he is no fan of lasagna.
Put a Magic card in your mouth, regardless of what the creators of Magic: The Gathering and common sense might tell you.
Animal control agents are asking people to stop contacting them about "animal infestations" they've seen at game shops running events for Bloomburrow.
An elderly card shop owner recently warned a group of teenage customers away from pre-purchasing a box of Duskmourn: House of Horror.
A handful have even sought out bed frames crafted from Modern Horizons 3 cards to enjoy the sensation of getting railed.
A prominent figure in Democratic government policy has made the brash decision to change Commanders one hour into a game.
OPPONENT'S BATTLEFIELD - Salmon & beloved father to thousands Phillip Sherman has raised concerns over the unfair treatment of his family while other animals get to be people. We caught up with the protesting patriarch while he fertilized a riverbed full of eggs in the nude. "What, everyone who goes…
Universes Beyond: Call of Duty will consist of nothing but reprints and be released yearly with zero significant changes or innovations.
The bipedal pavement sculptor who wandered in front of traffic is presumed to have had amnesia for the 86th time and forgot what crosswalks are.
The decision to pay the alternative cost was made by Dennis Caturwal, who sacrificed his Great Aunt Lucile to keep the apartment.
The British Army has received support from swaths of American citizens clamoring for a return to fascist monarchic rule for some fucking reason. This fervor has the current British Monarch they still have for some reason feeling absolutely giddy.
Professional Magic: The Gathering player Michael Bertlong was seen picking a Tarmogoyf token out of a freshly-opened pack of Modern Horizons 3.
MOX MANIA - A new, not-at-all shocking report finds that that dude you played against with a precon over a decade ago has never forgiven you for Counterspelling his commander. Dude Berrywidth is currently 29 years old. In the time since your fateful casual…
Local politicians are doing their part to ensure the state remains energy-independent by banning all the energy cards from Modern Horizons 3.
Cephalids perfectly capture what I love about life in general. No matter how worthless the people in your life make you feel, you can find a home.
"We're a simple folk," explained Hunter while doing the back-breaking daily labor of organizing his draft chaff.
PISA, Italy - This week's Paupergeddon tournament should have been a safe haven for those penniless Magic players Welcome to the Black Parade was talking about. Instead, it's become an ideological battleground as 'Pro-Lifers' swarmed en masse to protest the preemptive banning of Cranial…
Fremont’s Magic scene has been rocked by Curtis Theseus’s paradoxical claim that his expensively upgraded Sevinne deck is actually still a precon.
“It happened to my girlfriend too but that was after her god damn skin turned inside out. She didn’t leave it in her back pocket with her keys.”
She proceeded to gush “Oh my god I can’t believe you’re using Dragon Shields, you are so brave. If I were playing with those, I'd be sooooo embarrassed.”
Pringles and Wizards have teamed up to create the ultimate storage box for hyperbolic paraboloids, perfect for potato crisps or curled Magic foils!
Wizards was concerned that any other option would result in messages from guys with anime girl profile pictures saying “I’m not racist but…”
Pinkerton employees have been sent to the home of a man who dared to remember the announcement of a Magic: The Gathering TV show.
He believes that tutors are unhealthy for the format, Universes Beyond is bad, and that maybe WotC designs too many cards for Commander.