The 10 "Pepperiest" Commanders
Parnesse, the Subtle Brush by Svetlin Velinov
Last week we listed off some of the saltiest commanders to play against. That left a pretty awful taste in my mouth, to be honest. Instead of focusing on the negative, let's flip our mindset and list off the least salty commanders, a concept I'm tentatively calling "peppery" commanders until someone finds a better word for it.
Peel up a banana, rev up a smoothie, and toss a salad, because this week we're lowering our blood pressure and risk for cardiovascular disease and serving up some low-sodium commanders everyone loves to play against!
What is a Peppery Commander?
Peppery Commanders are the commanders you love to see set up across the table from you. They have interactive effects that either benefit the entire board or create fun politics moments for players. They can be group hug staples, like Kynaios and Tiro of Meletis, political lords, like Tivit, Seller of Secrets, or just goofy creatures that make you smile, like Yargle and Multani or Phelddagrif. Whatever the reason, these commanders are guaranteed to give the entire table a good game and still have options to win all by themselves.
#10 Parnesse, the Subtle Brush
I won't lie, I don't think I've ever seen a Parnesse, the Subtle Brush deck out in the wild. That said, I bet you can build an insanely peppery Commander deck around Parnesse. Effectively giving your permanents "Ward - Pay 4 life" does make interacting with your board fairly sodium-heavy, giving everyone else the opportunity to copy your copied spells can force them to interact with each other in a fun way. There are tons of easy ways to copy your own spells, like Repeated Reverberation and Dual Casting. Influence your opponents to target each other with your Murders and Lightning Bolts by granting your cards hexproof and shroud, or use Scheming Symmetry and other tutors to help everyone find an answer to someone else's threat.
#9 Maralen of the Mornsong
Giving the entire table a free tutor each turn can be a really swingy effect. Most players will start tutoring up their wincons immediately, so you should definitely point this out as soon as Maralen of the Mornsong hits the field. Now, you've got a fun game of politics playing out as players tutor up different threats while others discuss what they can fetch to answer it.
Maralen of the Mornsong's "peppery" build is focused on interaction and slugging the entire board at once. Wound Reflection and Ob Nixilis, Unshackled can further punish players for tutoring, or they can combo with Opposition Agent to take their win conditions once we're ready to wrap this up.
#8 Braids, Conjurer Adept
[card]Braids, Conjurer Adept[/el] is one of the quickest ways to speed up any game of Commander. At the very least, you'll see your opponents dropping an additional land each turn, which they'll no doubt be thankful for. At her best, Braids lets you put something crazy, like Stormtide Leviathan, directly into play. With a little Telepathy, you can create a fun minigame at your table where everyone is constantly analyzing what free permanent their opponents will play next turn and trying to compensate for that while also playing a spell they think will stick.
Being a blue deck, Braids, Conjurer Adept won't have access to the very best creatures around. However, dropping some free Clones or Mind Controls into play and stealing our opponents' best creatures makes for a fun surprise when you use an opponent's win con against them.
#7 Zedruu the Greathearted
There's no better way to get your cards shuffled into your opponents' libraries at the end of the game than Zedruu the Greathearted. Many Zedruu decks work by donating negative effects to your opponents, like Grid Monitor, Steel Golem, and Aggressive Mining. But, it isn't always this way! Zedruu is another commander that makes a fun group hug deck, passing out enchantments like Ghostly Prison to save other players, or using effects that benefit the entire board equally, like Gate to the Aether.
The best part is the Zedruu player benefits from passing out any card, so you'll still see a significant amount of lifegain and draw on your own upkeep! Find a nice, "fair" win condition, like Felidar Sovereign or Test of Endurance, and just chill out for a turn or two. Or, use a Homeward Path and instantly revoke everyone's gifts.
#6 Xantcha, Sleeper Agent
I have a friend with a Xantcha, Sleeper Agent deck, and it's one of our fan favorites in my regular EDH pod. Xantcha ramps up the speed of the game by putting a 5/5 that must attack each turn into play for three mana. Whoever the Xantcha player decides is everyone's biggest problem can usually expect to receive the Sleeper Agent, so the rest of the board can dump their extra mana into Shocking her controller while drawing cards.
Xantcha works best when you can incentivize your opponents to use her activated ability as much as possible: reduce its cost with Heartstone, discouraging leaving mana up with Citadel of Pain and War's Toll (both of which can play into a Mana Geyser very well for a late game Insurrection).
In a pseudo-group slug build, Xantcha takes any table of timid attackers and says, "But what if we actually played the game?"
#5 The Celestial Toymaker
It's undisputed that Fact or Fiction is one of the hallmark blue spells in Magic: The Gathering. The ability to guess and group cards correctly is the toughest skill to master in your Magic career, so when I set up for a game against the The Celestial Toymaker the other day, I was ready to test my mettle. I was sadly proven to be much more amateur at guessing and grouping cards correctly, and sealed my own fate multiple times by trying to call my opponent's bluff.
Cards like Manifold Insights and Atris, Oracle of Half-Truths find a home in The Celestial Toymaker, and cards like Liar's Pendulum and Master of Predicaments create fun mind games to play against your opponents.
#4 Nekusar, the Mindrazer
Any commander that throws gas on the game is anti-salt in my opinion. Nekusar, the Mindrazer is one of my favorites to see set up across from me. I'll reap the benefits of the extra draw before the Nekusar player, and even though that's definitely been factored into their plan, I have (perhaps too much) confidence that the cards in my deck can outplay the cards in theirs. In a 40-life format like Commander, I can afford to burn some life on extra cards (chances are we would've Sign in Blood'd at some point), and we can always draw into removal and destroy Nekusar when it's gone on long enough.
Nekusar decks tend to run a lot cards the help everyone draw more, and the rest of the table sure does love Temple Bell and Folio of Fancies. Sure, the Nekusar player is probably going to wheel us into a new hand for big damage with Molten Psyche next turn, but that's on them for filling my graveyard with targets for my Animate Dead
If you'd like to go the more hipster route, try Seizan, Perverter of Truth. Sometimes found in the 99 of Nekusar decks, Seizan feels like a weaker Nekusar locked into mono-black identity. A fun challenge for the bored deckbuilder!
#3 Vazi, Keen Negotiator
I love to play against Vazi, Keen Negotiator decks for much the same reason I love to play against Nekusar decks: I'm a poor deckbuilder who didn't include enough ramp or draw in my list, so I could really use the help, honestly. Vazi's in the best colors to make Treasure tokens, and basically ensures you'll get a +1/+1 counter and card draw from each of your opponents as the round progresses. The haste is just icing on the cake, making it easier than ever to ramp hard into Vazi with a ton of Treasure generation in one turn, then tapping to activate her immediately once she hits the field to start generating advantage ASAP.
Half the time, you won't even need to give an opponent Treasure tokens to use. Treasure creation is so omnipresent in Commander that you'll probably get that Vazi trigger without even donating Treasure!
Vazi decks can help the whole table at once, or pick one player to be their best friend. They can very easily make one player the archenemy, flying under the radar until your opponents have all bested each other and you can swoop in to finish up.
#2 Phelddagrif
If you've never had the pleasure of playing against a Phelddagrif deck, you're missing out. Its activated abilities are commonly used to end the game once it has infinite mana, either by stacking one hundred million activations of its blue ability to giving opponents one hundred million Hippos while you have Suture Priest on the field.
Until then, though, Phelddagrif is a goofy little guy you can use to give your opponents blockers, life, and card draw at instant speed. This makes for some great political plays, as many players won't swing in at you if you can trade them for card draw. Turtle up with the standard protection spells, like Propaganda and Ghostly Prison, and you'll soon be an untouchable puppet master of the table, trading Hippos and card draw for favors and influence.
#1 Kynaios and Tiro of Meletis
Kynaios and Tiro of Meletis basically do nothing but help your opponents. Okay, they ramp and draw you cards, as well, but for every card you draw your opponents are drawing three (total across all of them, not each individually). Folks love to see these boys in the command zone across from them, mostly because you know they'll be nothing but gas for your deck.
Many Kynaios and Tiro of Meletis decks are themed exclusively around group hug play styles. By benefiting the entire board with their Kami of the Crescent Moon and Rites of Flourishing, they make themselves more than just an unappealing target, they've become an ally in your quest to destroy the other two players. Unfortunately, the other two players think the same. Battling over the favor of the Kynaios and Tiro of Meletis player can create a unique political landscape on your battlefield, and is also a way to make some fast friends that'll persist after the game's over, too.
Wrap Up
If those hyper-competitive salt-filled commanders have got you down, why not take a walk on easy street with some of these finely peppered legendary creatures that go down easy and taste great? We could all use a break from the punishing lock outs of Grand Arbiter Augustin IV and migraine-inducing Tergrid, God of Fright.
There are hundreds of peppery commanders that didn't make the list. What are your favorite commanders to play against? Do you have any group hug decks yourself? Is "peppery" going to catch on? I'll entertain suggestions for a better word in the comments!
Thanks for reading! Try to have some fun out there!
